Unintentionally Naughty, parts 1 and 2

part one:
"You can put your pie in my fridge."

part two:
"My ice cream is melting. We need to do it soon."

related, by marriage

Three thoughts from my day today, with a tiny thread of commonality linking each one:

1. Instead of saying "specifically", my boss says "pacifically".
2. Austin Scarlett looks like a co-worker of mine, sans boobs.
3. Why are all the commercials during Project Runway for OLD PEOPLE? Do they think that because it's on Lifetime only 50+ year old people watch the show?

You can't handle the tooth

Baby's got the gingivitis.

good food

I had some friends over this evening and it was not as satisfying as I had hoped it would be. Maybe I build these things up too much in my head. Maybe I'm not a good host. It makes me sad and I feel alienated from them. I just want to be with my boyfriend.

the gang's all here

When the guy working at Carl's Jr. asked me if I wanted ketchup, I said that I wanted 2 ranch dressings. To drive my point home, I held up two fingers on my left hand. But instead of going with the traditional peace sign gesture, I turned my palm towards my body and tilted my hand to the right. So I'm pretty sure I threw the guy a gang sign. La Raza, bitches. Or something like that.

I'll be the judge of that

reflective sunglasses, especially the ones that are tinted yellow = douchebag

work notes

1. Yesterday I farted at work and it sounded like a duck. No one was around to hear it.
2. I'm working amidst the Jets and the Sharks. Actually, based on the way they are acting, calling them the Hatfields and McCoys is more appropriate.